I have learned so much in the last 3 days...it's more than I can share so I will just list some truths that I have learned.
1. God is not a religion and a religion is not God.
2. It is what it is, rise above it.
3. Rocks are powerful, safe, and provide protection.
4. Belief systems are BS (bull shit).
5. I get to work on leaving my BS in the past.
6. The lessons of my past serve me now.
7. I am not the person behind the mask.
8. I AM a powerful, beautiful, peaceful, open woman of light.
9. I have a creator, I am a creator.
10. I AM.
I am in gratitude for these truths....I am in gratitude for my angels....I am in gratitude for nature, and the answers, and assistance she gives....I am in gratitude for truth and love, trust, and God.
I wish the great thoughts that I formulate in my head would come out of my mouth when I am asked to speak before people. I don't feel afraid, my mind just goes blank and I can't say what I've intended to. I don't like it.
Sometimes I wait for the inspiration to come, but it never does.
“I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
Holocaust survivor, Elie Weisel (NIGHT)
AAAAHHHH.... The yearly evaluation, such joy, such a happiness, such warm fuzzies...? I think not. I dread evaluation. This year was no different. I got to the bosses office, and waited for the previous person to finish, entered the room, closed the door and sat across from the chief. She is a nice woman, and I know she has plenty of stuff on her shelf, so meeting with all the employees once a year is probably not her favorite thing either. Jefe was actually the one that hired me almost 10 years ago, to work as a PCT on the CVU, which I did for 5 years. I had just started school, and I worked nights from 6:00 pm to 2:30 am. I felt confident and knowledgeable about my job, I knew who I could ask questions of, and who I should avoid annoying with a question or two. About a year ago I had a couple of very negative experiences related to my job....I suppose you could say my feel goods got hurt, and they are still stinging...The day that happened I learned a HUGE lesson about where I fit in the world. I learned where the bottom line really is...and I learned that I am the only one that is going to stick up for me. Not that I didn't already know that , as in, I know that I must save myself before I can do anything for others. I sure forget that a lot. Evaluations are uncomfortable, at times they are condescending, and others are a celebration. I wonder if everyone comes to tears at these things. I didn't mean to, I took a pill so I'd be less worried, less stressed, but what happened?? Yep, open water works. I really was ready to move on, really...but now I deserved to emotionally regroup and find a place of peace and love of the life I get to create for myself.
Yea for books!!!! Yesterday I went to Barnes and Noble to "spend" the gift card Doug gave me for my birthday. I was in HOG heaven.....I spent forever just perusing the books....isn't that a great word? I looked at the fiction books, the religious books, the novels, the biographies, and I picked some of each. My usual genre is mystery, slasher, whodunit's but I wasn't really in the mood for that so I chose books that I would not normally read. I love reading!! I am really excited to finish my books.
I got 8 books, and only spent a little bit over what was allowed on my card. Oh, and of course I got a couple of bookmarks....so again I have to say Yea for books, and Yea for bookmarks....