Friday, August 27, 2010

I don't say much on here do I?  I'm not going to promise to do better.  That reminds me of when I was a kid, and would write in a Diary or and Journal.  I would always say, "I am going to do better," or "I am making a goal to write every week."  This was usually prompted by some church person's lesson or talk on journal keeping and the importance of writing down my experiences and feeling for the generations to come.  The problem is I love writing.  But, I have felt tainted about it, due to the fact that it's always been taught to me in church.  Church and me are not a team anymore so I am just not so sure how to go about it all.

I have tons of things to say.  I wonder though if I'm going to hurt someone by saying it.  That's dumb though.  This is my blog and I can say what I want.  I do not blog because someone tells me to, or because I want my kids or grandkids or anyone to know about me, my life, or my experiences.  I blog because I have a lot in my head and if it stays there it tends to build up and turn into drama or anger or sadness.  I don't like any of those things, so I'm going to blog, or journal or what ever.  I'm not making it private because I like reading other people blogs, so it's only fair that I keep mine open for others to read.

I don't think I've ever explained my blog title.  Saving Myself ..... Really.  About 3 or 4  years ago I learned a life changing lesson, well actually a lot of life changing lessons, but this one in particular has stuck with me.  I attended a series of self mastery trainings, the second of which is where I learned this great lesson.  I won't share the details, because I get that if anyone else would like to experience what I have I would ruin it for them.  But I will say that for most of my life I have lived, survived, and based my happiness and well being making sure that the happiness, survival, and expectations of acquaintances and loved ones in my life were being met.  So when I was faced with the fact that I would put myself last, even to death, for the well being of others, and not figuring out that I actually could the save myself, and assist others has altered my perspective greatly.

It's so easy...I get to take care of, or save myself first, or I am of no good to anyone else, period.   Really, how much simpler could that have been.  I was running around doing for others and ignoring my needs, and when it all came crashing down, I was beating myself up for not being able to continue as I had been.  WOW!!!  More about all that later...I just wanted to share the reason for my blog case anyone reads it and wonders...With that I say...................BRING ON THE DAY!!!!! (or the rain as it may be)